2fps

The first time I saw some of these things I was in awe. I would get on /gchat and start raving about it to anyone in earshot. Then I’d have a moment of disquietude and slowly decide that I never wanted to see them again.

Come to think, that pretty much describes all my past romantic relationships.

Anyway! Here’s a little list of things I’ve seen in recent battlegrounds that made me go whoa.

1. Mirror Image – Warlock style

Me: Ok… looks like a warlock coming in…
[Battleground]: [Me] 2 inc DR
Enemy lock gets closer, his friend also comes into view and is another lock.
Me: Hm, they have really similar names… and gear… and friends…
Enemy lock multiboxing 4 other locks: /metamorph x5, immolate aura x5, charge x5

Spirit Healer: Resurrecting in 29 seconds…

2. You choo-choo-choose me! And there’s a picture of a train… barreling down on me.

Ah an EotS already in progess and lo! Horde is ahead by 1200! An excellent game to step into if I do say so myself. Why, those heathen gnomes would have to have a miracle to win this one.

Or a death knight grip-chain team.

There was a sudden change in the makeup of the Alliance team as floods of people left the battleground and were replaced by seemingly random death knights from a variety of servers.

I must not have gotten the memo from Acherus saying that all death knights were going to start sharing a hive mind. A small pile of Alliance would stand way away from the bases towards the middle. Then one death knight would stand some 20 or 30 yards off from that group and another would stand 20 or 30 yards off from that guy and so on and so on until you came to the one standing in the middle of BE tower. That guy would grip you into range of the next furthest death knight who would then grip you into range of the next one down the line until you got to the pile in the middle who ate your face.

They ran this routine at each base we had and since our side was already thinking victory was a foregone conclusion they didn’t bother to regroup. Good game Death Knight gank-train, you earned that one.

3. Now boarding! Direct flight from Lumber Mill to the Blacksmith!

I saw his totems up on the cliffside of the Lumber Mill from the Blacksmith. He had been up there all game long. Some people just have their spot and they camp it religiously (yeah I’m talking about you again Creepindeath).

He must be lonely, I haven’t seen anyone go up to try and take LM yet. I’ll go introduce myself.

I get to the top of the hill and he comes into view.

Oh I’ve made a terrible mistake.

Hello tri-boxing shaman men. My name is Rajh and I’ve come to give you a free hk. I’ll begin my casting howl of terr– oh you have multiple tremor totems. Well then I shall introduce you to shado– I see. Well I wish you the best, enjoy the pocketful of silver you’re looting from my body.

Later I decided that I could probably take out at least one of them since I knew now what I was up against.

I crest the hill again. They don’t seem to notice me. I get bold and decide to get some direct damage going right up front.

Ah I apologize, I was rudely about to fire on you before you so graciously interrupted me. No I don’t think I should like to stay after all. I’ll just be on my– ah judging by my velocity and destination you seem to be in the airline industry. Thank you for so generously booking a flight for me. Lightning powered propulsion, you might be on to something there chap.

And now for something completely different.

One thing that I love seeing again and again and again is a particular combination that actually involves me on the side of the victor.

1. WTF nerf warl– nerf ro– nerf something!

My brother shall by playing the part of Adanis the rogue. I play Rajh the lock as usual.

Adanis (stealthed): He thinks its just you up here; he’s coming, get ready.
Enemy approaches, is sapped.
Me: /queues up Chaos Bolt/Immolate.
Adanis: /opens with cheap shot
Me: /conflag
Adanis: /backstabs
Enemy: AAAUUUGHHHH /dies
Us: /cackle